


ten seconds

by midorkiyaizuku



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, did u ever want emmeryns death scene from freddies pov? this is for u, i wrote this at 3 and went 'eh its good enough to post', this is more open verse poetry than narrative style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 07:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18517135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midorkiyaizuku/pseuds/midorkiyaizuku
Summary: Frederick watched Emmeryn on the cliff-top. He absolutely hated how helpless he felt, but he was frozen. He couldn’t use his legs to run towards her; couldn’t use his lips to yell her name. He couldn’t even breathe. Fear had completely paralysed him.-Also known as the ten seconds before Emmeryn's death, and what's going through Frederick's mind.





	ten seconds

**10**

Frederick watched Emmeryn on the cliff-top. He absolutely hated how helpless he felt, but he was frozen. He couldn’t use his legs to run towards her; couldn’t use his lips to yell her name. He couldn’t even breathe. Fear had completely paralysed him. 

The fear of losing Emmeryn. 

He gazed upon her, soaking in all of her features. She was muttering something, he couldn’t make out what. It could have been a prayer, or a mantra, or knowing Emmeryn, a blessing. 

She looked out at them all. Her eyes lingered on Lissa, then Chrom, then Frederick. He felt every hair on his arm stand on end with the shock of their eyes locking.  _ Would this be the last time she looked at him? _

How she managed to smile at them in the face of death would always leave him in awe, mixed with terror. Emmeryn was so, so much  _ braver  _ than anyone gave her credit for. 

Her lips were parted. She was mouthing  _ ‘sorry’  _ at him, and at Lissa, and at Chrom.

_ She wasn’t the one who should have been apologising.  _   
  


**9**

 

She jumped.

She was beautiful. Although he was sure Emmeryn had been through hell over the course of her capture, she still appeared as angelic as he had last seen her. The harsh lighting of the desert only caused her hair to appear more golden. She looked as though she were glowing. Etheral was the word to use. 

Emmeryn had spent years telling Frederick that she wasn’t a saint. Sometimes she would do so mockingly, others in frustration.  _ I wish for us to be friends, not for me to be above you.  _

She looked like a saint, though. The sun in the distance cast a glowing halo around her head, and her headpiece reflecting the light. She looked like a figure from the stained-glass windows Frederick had always admired.   
  


Emmeryn herself did not think she was a saint, but every person that had ever met her would swear on their life that she was. 

**8**

 

He remembered the first time seeing her. She had only been The Exalt for ten months, but it was already known throughout that Ylisse was faring better than it had in decades, all because of Emmeryn. 

The first time he met her was his own knighting ceremony. He would never be able to explain the connection he felt as he locked eyes with her for the first time. She was a complete stranger, and yet he felt as though he had known her his whole life. 

They hadn’t become such close friends straight away. But brief conversations in hallways led to taking strolls through the gardens, which led to eating their meals together while conversing over a random topic, which led to baring their souls to one another.

Frederick wouldn’t have traded a second of it for the world.

**7**

 

His father had once told him that becoming a knight meant losing a part of yourself. 

Emmeryn had kept him human.

She had treated him with kindness for ten years.  _ And you couldn’t even keep her safe. _

Emmeryn had always known what to say to him. She had once said that his heart was too soft to become a Knight of Ylisse, which he had scoffed at. But she had seen right through him. Not even a full month later he found himself in tears at her bedroom door. Killing a man for the first time had taken such a toll.

But she hadn’t judged him, nor condemned him. She had merely held him until he stopped crying, and reminded him that this didn’t define the man he was going to become. She was an infinitely better person than he was, he had decided at that moment. 

He had vowed to protect her.

_ He failed.  _

 

**6**

 

Frederick had always thought that that night would tear a rift in their semblance of a relationship, but it had only brought them closer together. 

He was equally a rock for her as she was to him. Whenever she heard of her people’s suffering, Emmeryn appeared strong. But under the cover of night, she would fall apart. Frederick remembered her calling herself childish for it. He had never thought so. The fact that she put on a face of bravery every day for her people was the furthest thing away from childish. 

Emmeryn carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. She singlehandedly tried to juggle the welfare of Ylisse, the happiness of her people, fixing relations with neighbouring countries, all whilst acting as a parental figure for Chrom and Lissa.

He had sat by her side all those nights, holding a handkerchief, brewing tea and stroking her back until she fell asleep.

She was far too selfless for her own good.  _ But then again, isn’t that how she ended up here? _

 

**5**

 

He so vividly remembered their first kiss. He hadn’t expected it, let alone expected Emmeryn to be the instigator. 

They had been seated in her room, playing a game of chess long into the night. Neither of them had ever been any good, but they played more for the company than anything else. And after leaning over and knocking his king, she locked her lips into his. Frederick was never going to forget the electricity that passed through him at that moment. 

She had apologised after that, profusely. Something about how she thought it was inappropriate due to her power and rank. He didn’t know what else to do except pull her into another kiss, this one softer than the first. 

That was the night they knew they were something more than friends.  _ Hadn’t they always been? _

They knew it was best that no one knew, except Chrom, and maybe Lissa (she wasn’t known for her ability to keep secrets.) It saved them both scrutiny and unnecessary worries. No one else would ever know just how dear to Frederick’s heart Emmeryn was. And they were both okay with that. It never once hindered their relationship. 

For Frederick, everything had always led right back to Emmeryn.

**4**

 

She knew he hated the nickname Freddie, but when it came from her lips he found that he loved it. 

Emmeryn had always made everything better. 

She even tried to ease Chrom’s burden by making this decision for him. She had eased it, perhaps, but this was one thing she was unable to make better. 

_ Could the world keep spinning after this?  _

 

**3**

 

Chrom was sprinting. Robin was running as well, trying to keep up with him. Lissa was holding her head in her hands beside him. Frederick didn’t know how to process any of what was happening around him. 

All he could think of was Emmeryn. Not being able to see her smile or hear her laugh. Not spending long nights pouring over paperwork with her, or walking through a garden when she obviously needed a break. Not being able to hold her hand when things got rough, or playing chess through the night in her room. All he could think of was how he would never feel her warmth again, or be able to kiss her again. 

He’d never see her again. 

 

**2**

 

He was torn. He didn’t want to miss looking at her in her final moments of life, even if he truly didn’t want to see what happened next. 

Did she expect him to look? Did she hope he wouldn’t? Frederick would never know with Emmeryn. 

Perhaps it would be him who regretted it if he didn’t watch her until the very end. Or perhaps it would haunt his every nightmare for as long as he lived. Somehow, he thought it would be both. 

She had her eyes scrunched up, he could tell even from a distance. She must have been terrified. Frederick’s heart broke again.

**1**

 

Time was moving in slow motion. She was mere inches from the ground. Frederick could hear Lissa’s screams from behind him. 

Lissa shouldn’t see this. He turned to grab her and pull her to his chest. No one should have to see this. Not Chrom, who was desperately running towards his elder sister, arms outstretched as though he could reach her. Not Lissa, who was sobbing already, her heart shattering into countless pieces.

And definitely not Frederick. Frederick, who had so freely given Emmeryn his heart all those years ago. Was his heart going to die along with her? Who even was Frederick without Emmeryn? 

**0**

 

She fell to the ground with a heart-wrenching crunch. A scream was ripped from Frederick’s throat; he didn’t even realise it was him. 

_ Emmeryn.  _

_ Emmeryn. _

_ Emmeryn. _

_ Emmeryn was dead.  _

He didn’t have to go see her body to know that the light had left her eyes. He could feel it in his heart. He felt hollow. Empty. And yet at the same time, everything was hurting. He couldn’t breathe, his chest was constricted. 

Frederick didn’t even remember that Lissa was still clutching onto him when he sunk to his knees. He couldn’t see anymore, his eyes blurry with hot tears that were flowing freely down his face. 

How could she be gone? People like Emmeryn were supposed to be untouchable. Unbreakable. Did that not apply to Emmeryn? Was she never supposed to pass 24? It was unfathomable. 

He couldn’t imagine a world without her. 

He didn’t want to imagine a world without her.

_ I’m sorry I failed you. I love you.  _

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah so this was fun. a good time. i cried while thinking about this. i hope someone enjoyed it?
> 
> Also! I'm on Tumblr @xanderthepaladin, and Twitter @keiththepaladin, so come say hi!


End file.
